GRIEF:- A PORTAL TO HEALING

My Dearest #MentalMonday❤️🧠 Reader, I am here wondering what suicide week has been like for you. What part did you take in it? Did you raise awareness on suicide? Did you spread a little kindness, threw in a joke here and there to lighten someone’s mood, perhaps share a smile or just hugged someone and made them feel grounded and not as though the world will surely swallow them? Or maybe yet my favourite, did you manage to sit down with your skeletons, embrace life’s hiccups and hurricanes, and yet still rise above suicidal ideation and chose life and hope? However, for me this week has made me realisehow life is one big show, colourful for most of the time, but there are two things that are a showstopper to this life, Love and Grief. And for this reason as September, is dedicated to the subject of Suicide prevention, we might as well talk grief.

While Love is equally a showstopper to life as grief is, it comes in to add more colour, while grief on the other hand well, it weaves its dark threads, creating a stark contrast against the vibrant hues of life. This guest, unwelcome to the show carries with it a weight that can feel insurmountable and in worst cases, it is crippling. Like any unwanted and uninvited guest, grief has the tendency to arise unexpectedly, sweeping us off our feet and leaving us in its wake. It manifests in myriad forms—sadness, anger, confusion, and dare I say even relief (when the loss is of someone who had been terminally ill and in a lot of pain). Each individual experiences grief in a deeply personal manner, shaped by the unique contours of their life, relationships, and experiences. It is a journey marked by peaks and valleys, where moments of clarity can be entwined with overwhelming despair. 

Within the deafening silence of grief, there exists a song of emotions. The heart, heavy with loss, beats to a rhythm that is both haunting and beautiful. Memories flood the mind, each one a delicate petal falling from the tree of remembrance, some vibrant and joyful, others tinged with the bittersweet ache of longing. And while we go through grief, some are dealt a card of disenfranchised grief. That moment where you incur loss but you cannot openly mourn. Maybe because the world does not view it as worth grieving; the ending of a love relationship, the loss of a body arm, the loss of a pet, the loss of a present yet absent parent in your life, or any other loss where society will look at us and say “people have lost more.” But in all honesty, only the grieving person knows how much they have lost.  

It is in this paradox that the essence of grief reveals itself—a complex dance between love and loss. As grief takes root, it can intertwine with our mental health, shaping our thoughts and behaviors in profound ways. The shadows of grief may cast doubt on our self-worth, leading to feelings of isolation and despair. Anxiety can creep in, whispering fears of the unknown and the permanence of loss. Depression may settle like a fog, obscuring the light of hope. Solving this rubik’s cube of emotions requires courage and resilience. It is essential to acknowledge the weight of grief without allowing it to define our existence. As we go through the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) show yourself some kindness. Seeking support, whether through friends, family, or professional help, can illuminate the path forward. Sharing our stories can transform our pain into a powerful narrative of healing, reminding us that we are not alone in our suffering. Never forget, pain as part of the show of this life thing, also demands an audience. 

Ultimately, grief is not a linear path but a cyclical journey. We might find ourselves repeating a stage of grief, while we thought it had passed. It teaches us the fragility of life and the profound depth of our connections. In embracing the full spectrum of our emotions, we open ourselves to healing, allowing the seeds of resilience to take root. With time, the blossoms of hope and acceptance can emerge from the ashes of sorrow, reminding us that while loss may shape us, it does not have to confine us. We will reach a time when on most days we mother and take care of our grief, we carry it with us proudly as we do our weight, we embrace how it is a part of us, we don’t silence it but rather we are keen to listen to it. We reach a point where we realise it cannot be measured by the time passed since the loss, we hold its hand just as we in our adult capacity still get to have our hands held by our parents and them theirs. 

Finally, what I have learnt in dealing with loss is there is a lot of grieving in what should have been.so the world may not understand but go on and grieve. And also healing takes its sweet time, you cannot rush it. I also wish you I could tell you that we completely heal from loss, but that wouldn’t be true. Grief is a testament to the love we have shared and the lives we have touched. It is a reminder that, even in our darkest moments, there exists the possibility of light. By nurturing our mental health and embracing the journey of grief, we can transform our pain into a beautiful testament to the enduring power of love. Let us honor our grief, for in doing so, we honor the very essence of what it means to be human, Because#Mentalhealthmatters❤️🧠